Month: February 2014

3 Simple Tips to keep your House full of Kids CLEAN

/ Sandra Harper-Lamgo / Leave a comment

With five kids, a dog business, and one always dirt-covered Cowboy Husband. . .it’s hard to keep a clean house.  We have a saying in our house, “One MOMMY!”  I taught it long ago back when we had just three kiddos.  It means, there is just one mommy and I can’t do everything, be everything, or be everywhere at one time.  Our children have learned to take turns, pitch in and most importantly. . .to have patience!  They have also learned that team work is the best way to clear up our schedule so we can have more mommy time, more play time, and more down time.  

With a large family comes a large mess!  If we all pitch in. . .it gets done faster!  I’ve learned many tips by trial and error, and other momma’s who have been there and done just that. . .raised a house full of kids.  My disclaimer. . .we have had many periods in our busy life that have left us with a messy home for the record books.  During those last months of pregnancy, illness, busy schedule or simply feeling down, I have let my house go.  The only way to feel successful during those stages was to watch an episode of Hoarders.  Remember, we all go through seasons.  Do NOT let the stress of needing to maintain a perfect home wear you down.  Everyone. . .I repeat. . .Everyone has had these moments and everyone has had that moment in life when you just pray someone doesn’t visit unexpectedly.
These are my top 3 tips on how to keep things picked up on a daily basis to ultimately avoid the pile up mess.
1.  Grab a Condiment and Go!
  This one is from my neighbor who raised 5 boys on her own.  We homeschool, which means we have three mealtime opportunities to mess up our kitchen.  The rule stands. . .everyone is responsible for cleaning up their area at the table!  You made the mess. . .you clean it up.  After each mealtime, before we excuse ourselves from the table, everyone is required to grab just one condiment or extra item from the table and put it away along with their own plate, cup and silverware.  Each person takes their plate, scrapes it off and places it in the dishwasher.  For our family, we use paper plates most of the time.  So our kids just throw their plate in the trash.  We also keep our Clorox wipes on the kitchen table lazy susan.  Each child is required to grab a wipe and clean their area before leaving the table.  When mealtime is over the table is spotless and everything is put away.  After dinner, I put away the leftovers, place the cookware in the dishwasher and turn it on.  Then I’m off to the living room to cuddle with the family on the sofa.  I do not stay in the kitchen and work after mealtimes.  I just don’t!
 
2. Every Man- For- Himself Laundry
  Let me emphasize that we have 7, that’s S-E-V-E-N people in our family.  And with daily farm chores, you can only imagine the laundry we pile up.  I hate laundry!  There, I said it!  Now before everyone tells me how to better organize my laundry room, laundry sorting and folding techniques. . .let me remind you that we have S-E-V-E-N. . . that’s “7” people in the family and over the past 18 yrs of being a parent, I’ve tried everything.  What works for one family may not work for the other.  I have no problem sorting, loading the washer, transferring to the dryer and back into a basket.  It’s the folding and putting away that prompts me to re-start the dryer 2 and 3 times before emptying into that basket.  Yes?  Sound familiar?  See, I’m not alone am I?
So we have 7 days in the week and 7 people in the family.  Hmmmm. . .how do we work this out. . .A few important SUB points . . .
 
–Each person has a color coded laundry basket in their room.  A tall circular basket is for dirty laundry.  A coordinating rectangular basket is for clean laundry.  Mom-white, Dad-black, Andrew-red, Jacob-Blue, Matthew-Green, Melissa and Jessica-Purple.  Bathroom laundry is in a wicker basket.  You dirty your clothes and put them in the tall basket!  check!
–Next, we assigned everyone a day for THEIR laundry.  Monday is ME plus any towels, sheets, and misc.  Tuesday is Matthew, Wednesday is Melissa and Jessica, Thursday is Andrew, Friday is Jacob and Saturday is Daddy!  Sunday is usually my day off or reserved for emergency washing!  Yep, we get emergency laundry.
–TEACH everyone how to do laundry!!!  I grew up doing laundry every Saturday.  From the time I could walk, I was gathering, sorting, or folding laundry.  If they can walk. . .they can do laundry.  (Just remember to keep laundry soaps, dryer sheets, etc up and out of reach of the little ones.)  Each person learns what can be washed, dried and what needs to be separated.  We do this by giving everyone a “special” small basket in the closet for “specially washed” items.  If it can’t be washed together, dried, or must be dry cleaned. . .they learn and put it in this basket.  Mom helps with this basket.  Everything else gets washed together!  YES, together!
–Wash, Rinse, Repeat!  Well, almost.  On your laundry day- you load the contents from the basket in the washer. . .add soap. . .press the buttons.  Simple!  Then you transfer to the dryer. . .even more simple. . .then. . .wait for it. . .wait for it. . .you remove the contents from the dryer and transfer those clothes to your basket!!!  Yay!!!!  Almost done.  Next, the chore for that day (yes, the kiddos have chores too) is to fold the contents of the basket and put them away.  Then the next week you do it all over again!
–Lower your standards!  This is a huge one. . .my kids fold their own clothes.  Which means, we have nice piles and sloppy piles.  It gets better with time and instruction.  But I will take a sloppily folded pile of clean clothes over a laundry room piled high with baskets of clean laundry that ultimately ends up back on the dirty floor ready to wash all over again.
                  
3. Divide the house into ZONES and Conquer!
I actually started this one back when I had three boys and one little girl on the way.  There were periods after her arrival when we had help. . .but ultimately, this zone-style cleaning has kept me sane!
–My house is divided into 4 zones.  The layout of our home when you enter the front door is the main living room/dining room/ patio room all in one view.  This is zone 1.  Zone 2 is the wing with the children’s rooms and Bathroom.  Zone 3 is our Kitchen, hallway that splits off into the laundry room and pantry. &
nbsp;Because the kitchen has most of the tile in the home, we choose this day to mop all the tile.  Then the 4th zone is our Master bedroom, game room and guest bathroom.
– We tackle weekly chores by spending 4 days of 15 minute clean ups of these areas.  With 7 people, we can get it done in 15 minutes.  With a smaller family, you may need to divide into more zones.  Just keep it to 15 minutes or you’ll lose the consistency and soon burn out.
-Each Zone has a basket of cleaning essentials specific for that zone.  Let’s take Zone 1.  The kids are assigned areas in that zone and know what cleaning tools we use for that zone.  We have a cleaning basket with Pledge, duster for high items, dusting rag, glass cleaner, scentsy refills, trash bags and replacement light bulbs.  We also bring an empty basket for misplaced items not belonging to that particular zone.
 **Our order is the same no matter where the zone: pick up trash first,  then any dishes or kitchen items, next gather any laundry/blankets/pillows, put toys and games where they belong.  That is the “pick up” stage.  Then we dust, shine, vacuum, replace any light bulbs, scentsy refills, or trash bags and we’re done!  Yes, it takes just 15 minutes when each person is assigned a chore and they have learned to do it well.  We set a timer and quit when it rings.
**We clean zone 1 on Monday’s.  Zone 2 on Tuesdays.  Wednesdays are off.  Thursday’s we tackle zone 3 and Fridays we tackle zone 4.  Saturday and Sunday’s we do NOT clean unless we are doing a project or have had to bump a day for a schedule conflict on the calendar.
Our Home is well lived in. . .and we like it that way!  But we also need to make sure our guests can differentiate between the house and the barn.  So, we’ve adopted a few of these daily techniques and have found them useful for our particular family!  Find what works for you and stick to it!  Make it yours and embrace the “mess” that comes with family.  

Waiting on God. . .is it worth the wait?

/ Sandra Harper-Lamgo / Leave a comment
I was recently asked about a phrase written in my new-soon to be released- book, Living Water, and what I had meant by it.  While driving to our Son’s funeral, I had stated that I had “seen the face of God.”  The Face of God, not as a literal seeing the physical facial attributes, but rather, for me it was that God was with me.  A closeness indescribable other than to say I saw His face.  He was right there, in the midst of my suffering, holding my hand, lifting me up, granting me peace.  I was His and He was mine.  The Lord had given me an opportunity to be in such a place of sorrow, need, and loneliness that I could actually feel His presence and know Him in a very different intimate way.
As my fingers worked the keyboard explaining just what I had meant by those choice of words, it struck me that in that very moment, I was with God once more.  The day had been one for the record books.  You know, those days that will always stand in your memory.  The date, what you were wearing, your hair style, the colors of the painted sky, the smell of the season.  For me, it was the pain in my heart that I swore would never go away.  This wasn’t just any ordinary day.  We were so excited to have announced to family and friends just weeks prior, that we had made the decision to adopt a baby into our family.  It felt like we were pregnant.  So nervously full of joy.  We sent in our preliminary application which had awarded us more paperwork to send out to friends, church staff and various outlets to affirm that we were indeed a great family in which to raise a child.  Our confidence let us down.
That morning I received an emailed letter letting us know that we would not be invited to the next adoption orientation; as a referral concerned how any child could be properly educated while being Homeschooled.  Never even speaking with our children about academics. . .the judgement was made.  The knife turned deep as it entered our souls.  Immediate bitterness, anger and then complete sorrow.  Another child lost.  After miscarriages and losing a child, even with the crew of five sitting around the table; the loss of just one future child was great.  More than that, the heartbreak of deception, rejection and betrayal had broken us once again.
Was this it?  Our dream and God given desire to rescue and ransom a life. . .over?  The dream seemed to have died right there.  We held each other, cried, yelled out in anger at a judgement untrue and unfounded.  Would we recover?  Would we continue?  Would we run?  The 24 hrs to process what had just happened to us lent it’s way to seeking God, crying out to Him and feeling once again His incredible presence.  His rescue and ransom of our own orphaned lives.; it was He who had adopted us as His children and He would not let us suffer in vain.  The providence of the almighty sovereign God, our father, was to let us feel this rejection as He did on earth.  Even still, our constant rejecting him over and over and over again…  Did it feel like this?  The difference, we aren’t perfect and most likely deserve much of what is fed us.  But the perfect Lord, our savior never did anything to deserve his tortuous mutilation on the cross.  God gave me loneliness to see that I indeed was never alone.  He is always with me.  Even when everyone leaves.  When the cradle remains empty.  Like John Waller’s “While I’m Waiting”
 “I’m waiting, I’m waiting on you Lord, and I am hopeful, I’m waiting on you Lord, though it is painful. . .but patiently, I will wait.  I will move ahead bold and confident, taking every step in obedience. . .while I’m waiting, I will serve you, while I’m waiting, I will worship while I’m waiting, I will not faint, I’ll be running the race, even while I wait. . .”
Pregnancy, adoption, tough times, and even this short, short life are all moments of waiting.  We wait for the gestation to be completed.  We wait for the adoption agency to approve us.  We wait for the birth mothers to choose us.  We wait to make the orphan ours.  And while living here in this broken world, we wait.  We wait on the Lord until He takes us home.  And I will serve him, worship him, praise him, glorify him and long for him as I wait.  As the sting of rejection subsides, as the child yet to be created is laid in our arms, and yes, even as the cradle remains empty.  I will wait.  Because God knows my heart and the desires within.  I am His child.  And with His everlasting love. . .knowing him will be enough.  The closeness with him. . .seeing His Face is always worth the wait.  Our Adoption Journey continues. . .
“They who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;  they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” – Isaiah 40:31

The Year of the Hot Pocket

/ Sandra Harper-Lamgo
It’s a spring day in the middle of winter. A quiet stare through a beam of the sun points to imperfections on the wood- paneled wall nearby.  A spatter of dust, I run my fingertip catching the few that would fly away.  My hand stops while my heart studies each imperfect divot, scratch, and stain.  A smile.  I had waddled through the year of the light saber with three obsessed little boys and one little girl on the way.  With each scratch of wood, I could hear my constant complaints, my screams and pleas for the Star Wars Light Saber duels to carry outside.  For months, I’d mend a few wounds of the wood with Old English only to see them fade back into my life.  Would these boys ever sit still, sit down, stop beating everything and anything with mere plastic till destruction arose?  It seemed endless.  And now, it’s over. 
The three littles are big.  I beg to see them run around and destroy once more.  Even the two little girls that followed are caught up in the new play of “i” this and “i” that.  But it was the years in-between Darth Vader and Minecraft that drove my smile to full blown laughter.  The homeschooling mother of 5.  Well, four and the fifth and most energized infant known to man.  I had morphed into something I’d pitied.  So many mothers dress for success and have mastered the ability to sell it well.  I was not one of them.  A once controlling, clean freak with a pantry full of pledge. . .my beautiful white neatly vacuumed floor had now turned hot pocket covered floor in a matter of just three children’s time.  Yes, you heard me right.  Hot pocket covered floor.  Life became life and children played while momma shuffled laundry, dishes, mealtime and schooling. . .all while one little girl constantly at the breast.  It was a three ring circus in a petting zoo.  Quite the attraction.  Did anyone know it?  Not really.  Not if you gave me a ten minutes notice.  I was tired, busy breeding and raising puppies and chickens, cows and kiddos while the hubby traveled.  My standard was to stay just above CPS standards.  But everyone was healthy, happy and well fed.  Well, fed with hot pockets that is.  
 
There was a sale on everything hot pocket.  So, I bought it.  The picture looked good and microwavable nutrition was not only acceptable, but fully justified in my sight.  The littles loved them, but never finished them.  And while I rested on the sofa, they’d visit me, hot pocket and all.  Now, it wasn’t unusual to find a nugget or french fry nestled between couch cushions.  But the day I found my first hot pocket, I knew we were headed down, way beyond the standards I had set so low.  Then those standards were soon deemed way too high when in a matter of 2 days I had actually stepped on two hot pockets on the floor.  Bewildered, amazed, confused and somewhat upset, I picked them up and went on my way, past the injured wood paneled hallway. 
 
 Let the Hot pocket’s fall!  It literally seemed like it was raining Hot pockets.  The finale of our Hot pocket season was on a Saturday.  Our oldest, arriving at the front door, flew in the house excited from a basketball win, hopped over the sofa to pour out his adventures when he slipped and fell to the ground.  To our amazement, or better described as disgust. . .a hot pocket.  It was like manna.  I picked them up and the next morning they would miraculously re-appear. . .in multiples. 
 
 Now, present day, with tears streaming down my face through laughter, I see the line of shoes neatly placed by the door.  The windows are clean and pillows fluffed on the sofa.  My house, while cluttered is now clean.  While others deemed me pretty much unfit to parent in those days of chaos, I had the time of my life. So I grab my non pregnant belly, now hurt from giggles and I wish to revisit just one moment as the ring master. . .just one more cape around a kid’s neck. . .just one more hot pocket.
 

This life is but a vapor, a mist on a cold day.  Here one day, gone the next.  I know this too well and although I’ve spent many years in a frenzy of clean up, wipe up, and dress up. . .God opened my eyes or more like, my heart, one day and I’ve tried to never look back.  
 
In the reality of life, I have learned my limits.  Have embraced my talents and have let go of man’s view of perfection.  I have discovered what is important to both me and my children.  Life on earth is short. . .so very short.  Just ask any empty nester out there and they will tell you it was simply a blink of an eye ago when their married children were in diapers; learning to master those first steps.  Eternity on the other hand is forever.  My focus as an almost 41 yr old mother of five has changed from the constant living up to expectations of this life to showing my children Christ’s love, dedication, loyalty, Grace and Mercy.  It has changed my life and most importantly. . .it has changed theirs.  We no longer run around just to be running.  I no longer yell and scream at the “mess” in the house.  
 
I can do laundry all day long, every single day of the week and still only succeed at being caught up for a mere 24 hr period.  What do I get?  A metal? &nbsp
;A pat on the back from my friends?  Self glorification?  What does it matter?  “In the day of Christ I will have reason to glory because I did not run in vain nor toil in vain.” -Philippians 2:16.  While I do not necessarily condone a floor full of french fries or Hot pockets. . .I believe mothers today are constantly measured against the Pinterest ideals, the mirage of a perfect neighbor, friend, or family member.  This need to “be” or “do” is the reason I must constantly look to Christ and the eternal.
 
“You do not know what will happen tomorrow.  For what is your life?  It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.” -James 4:14.  After merely 18 yrs of mothering, I offer this advice for you to leave or take.  
 
  • Embrace the life the Lord has given you.  Whether or not it is the one you dared to dream. 
  •  Slow down and smile at the imperfections.  
  • Listen to the laughter or your littles.  
  • Hug constantly and wipe away tears with a tender heart instead of frantically being irritated by the speed bump placed in your busy-filled day.  
  • Learn to love and teach it by example.  
  • Leave the dishes for the night and read a book to the kids 
  • Live for the eternal

And lastly. . .go buy a box of Hot pockets.